Today marks 9 years since I got the phone call telling me that I had breast cancer. The following post popped up in my Facebook memories today:
Little did I know that a few hours later I would receive the call. I had this whole awesome weekend planned. I was dating this guy from Oahu and he flew in Friday evening to spent a long weekend with me and my boy. Sunday was going to be valentine’s day and Monday was presidents day.
That Saturday we had planned to drive up to the top of haleakala and have a picnic and just enjoy that magical place. So while we were driving up, my pcp called. I answer the phone and she told me that the biopsy results came in already. So I ask her what the results are, and she says that I’ll have to come into the office for that…..
At that moment you know that it’s not nothing, didn’t fully realize yet she was going to tell me that I have breast cancer. So I tell her that we’re half way up the mountain, that I’m not turning around and drive back down, and no matter what she tells me, that I’m going to enjoy the weekend. And boy, was i glad i made that decision….
So she tells me its cancer….. I get quiet, tears streaming down my face, I cant speak, don’t know what to do….. then I ask her what’s next, and she says some things, then we hang up the phone. I’m baffled for a moment. There’s no breast cancer in my family, I was only 35, relatively healthy. It had to sink in for a moment…… At that short moment I allowed myself to process and cry, I turn to nathan and tell him that we were going to kick cancer’s ass. There was no doubt in my mind in that moment.
Then I called my parents, half way across the world. I dont remember what time it was and if they were still up or not. Ofcourse they were shocked. I’m sure they cried…. I called my best friend and my sister as well back home. I also called a local friend…..
Then we got back in the car and continued our trip up the mountain. We shared tears, smiles, laughter, and love.
I dont remember if I had a goodnight sleep, I might have taken something to help me sleep….. on Sunday I had my last poledancing class of this 6 weeks series I did with a friend. After that we went out for lunch. Again it was a day of laughter, tears, joy, and love.
On Monday we went whale watching. We had never been, it was so beautiful and magical. Seeing the whales play in the ocean. They are such magnificent creatures. We had a great time…..
I am so grateful that my doctor didn’t make me come into the office to give me the news. That she told me over the phone. I know that if I had gone into the office, my mindset would have been so different, and most likely I would have gone home after and cry and feel sorry for myself. Now I was able to give it a positive swing, and I just have such beautiful memories about that weekend. My journey wasn’t always easy, but I made the decision to stay positive and not to let it get me down.
Now 9 years since that phone call, my life has changed so much, changed for the better. I have grown in all aspects of my life. I’m very grateful that I had that experience. It might sound strange, and it wasn’t always easy, but the growth it has brought me…… I’m truly blessed.