This is something I have been thinking about lately. We make so many excuses for not reaching our goal or for not trying to do something etc. I see this in the boys, but also in myself. I had a rotator cuff repair back in June. Before my surgery I wasn’t able to do all the things I like to do, and with my recovering I was limited as well, of course there were a lot of things I still could do, and I still was teaching my Zumba and yoga classes with my arm in a sling, but I didn’t work out for me, I let my recovery come in the way and be an excuse not to be as active as I was before. This of course translated into weight gain. So now I am on a mission to loose that weight again. Guess what, it is so much easier to gain then loose, ok at least for me. Of course I can tell you that I am over 40 and on hormone treatment and use those as excuses as well, yes it might make it harder, but I know from personal experience that it is not impossible.
Why do we make excuses
So why are we so freaking good at making excuses. For me it is not just my weight loss journey, but also my own business. For my youngest it is not wanting to try something new he thinks doesn’t come that easy. He is very smart, and subjects in school come very easy, but other things in life or in sports not as easy, so he makes excuses. Why are we so freaking afraid to try, to just make that jump, to let go and dive right in. What stops us from reaching our goals that we set for ourselves, assuming the goals are realistic.
For my business part, for the most past it is fear, what if I don’t succeed, etc, but also how can I charge for things I would do for free, teach people about exercise, spirituality, yoga, meditation, breath work, or for my card readings. On top of that there is self doubt, there are people more fit then me, why would someone come for a workout to me, or there are people way more spiritual then me, what do I have to teach. To much in my head. But then when I look and see what happens in my yoga class, I know I have something to offer. In the end I want to offer so many more services to cancer survivors and be a beacon of hope and guidance.
So the question is still, why all these excuses, how do we stop our self doubt, our self sabotage, our insecurities, and how do we fully embrace our talents, and truly believe that we can achieve what we want to achieve. Why is it so hard to step out of our comfort zone, and we know outside of that bubble is where we grow.
How to stop making excuses
We need to stop comparing ourselves with other people, yes someone may be fitter then me, but that doesn’t mean that person is a better trainer, not saying that person will be worse either, but not everyone will relate or connect well with that person. I may just bring something to the table that person X needs, which person Y doesn’t provide, because that person walked a different path and journey.
We need to stop fearing the unknown. Yes things might go wrong, but it can go right. What if I fall, but honey, what if you fly….. Think back about a time you stepped past your fear, what happened. For me I moved from the Netherlands to Maui and so many wonderful things happened, and yes there were heartaches and headaches as well. Makes you wonder, if I did that, why am I still fearful and holding myself back, good question, I’ll let you know the answer when I figure it out.
We also tend to blame others or our circumstances for why we can’t do something or why something is not working out. I would love to blame my shoulder surgery for my weight gain, but guess what!!, I could have gone walking everyday or gone to the gym and do leg day each and every day, ok maybe not every day, but at least every other day, but no I used my surgery as an excuse.
Set small attainable goals, this is good in a fitness/health journey, but also in starting something new like a business. If you want to loose 30 lbs, it might seem very overwhelming, but when you start by walking more each day, or cut out sugar, or something attainable, it will be less overwhelming.
An other good one is to stop focusing on our weakness. We are so good at pointing out our own shortcomings, and others if I may add. But focus on your strengths. I might not be very good at book keeping, but I am good at guiding my students in my yoga classes. When you start a business and it is too overwhelming because there are tasks involved that you’re not good at, then you can also delegate. Note to self: find someone to do your website.
Visualization is very powerful as well. You can write your goals out in detail into a journal. And then be very specific, how will you feel, what will your success look like. If it is about starting your business, what kind of people will you help, who are your customers. If you’re wanting to get healthier, how will it feel, how will your skin glow, will you have lost some weight and fit in that cute outfit, or is your bloodwork better and you can stop some of your medications. Go in detail, feel it, experience it while you write it down.
And you know what? It is ok to fall down, but you want to get back up, don’t allow negative thoughts to take over. If you don'[t succeed the first time, doesn’t mean you should just throw in the towel and give up. You know that it is perfectly fine that you are not perfect, that you make mistakes, and then you learn from them, so next time you won’t make that same mistake again. You have the power to change, you have the power to succeed, so what is still stopping you?